《【HP】比比多味豆》西西可纳特

8、【罗赫】酒疯

　　*对话体，超级短小，配了英文更有感觉

　　*不是翻译外网文！！！是码了中文再自己翻成英语的原创！！！

　　*建议配合猹弟斯蒂芬普斯的《Sexual Vibe》 食用

　　“马丁尼，谢谢。”

　　“Martini, thank you. ”

　　“赫敏！你怎么在这里？”

　　“Hermione! What are you doing here? ”

　　“这话应该我问你才对，罗纳德·韦斯莱。当一个女人在麻瓜酒吧发现她烂醉的丈夫时，最正常的反应是勃然大怒——而我没有。你应该为此感谢梅林。”

　　“I should be asking you that, Ronald Weasley. When a woman finds her drunken husband in a muggle bar, the most common response is to fly into a rage——and I didn\'t. You should be thanking Merlin for that. ”

　　“你生气了？”

　　“Are you angry? ”

　　“真是个可喜可贺的发现，罗恩！”

　　“What a delightful discovery, Ron! ”

　　“对不起——只是，我今天过得挺不容易的。”

　　“I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve had a rough day.”

　　“收起你那副可怜兮兮的蠢样。我打赌我的生活比你悲惨十倍，这就是为什么我需要酒精——酒保？”

　　“Put your pathetic stupor away. I bet my life is ten times worse than yours.That\'s why I need alcohol——where is my Martini，maid? ”

　　“冷静一点，赫敏，我不明白我做了什么十恶不赦的大事——”

　　“Calm Down, Hermione. I don’t know what I’ve done——”

　　“照看好罗丝和雨果，这是我交给你的唯一任务。可是十分钟前我在客厅里发现了两个光着脚丫开睡衣派对的——早该上床睡觉的小孩！”

　　“Take care of Rose and Hugo. That’s the only job I’ve given you, but ten minutes ago I found two barefoot kids in my living room at a slumber party——who should have fallen asleep long ago! ”

　　“我出门的时候他们是睡着的——”

　　“They were asleep when I went out—— ”

　　“还想不通？装睡的鬼把戏，这一套每个人都使过。这次我给了他们一人一个强力催眠咒。”

　　“Still can’t figure it out? Everyone has done this trick of pretending to be asleep. This time I gave each of them a powerful hypnotic spell. ”

　　“我上周在《巫师周刊》读到过，多次使用强力催眠咒会使以后患上阿尔茨海默症的几率增长百分之——”

　　“I read last week in the Wizard’s Journal that repeated use of powerful hypnotic spells increases the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease by—— ”

　　“你认为你对概率学的了解比我更深刻？如果写这篇文章的是个像你一样游手好闲的年轻父亲，那倒还情有可原。这年头的媒体和丽塔·斯基特没什么区别，真该往他们该死的海滨豪宅里塞上十个八个小孩，让他们也尝尝永无宁日的滋味——”

　　“You think you know more about probability than I do? It would be understandable if this article were written by a deadbeat young father like yourself. The media these days is no better than Rita Skeeter , and I should stuff their Goddamn beach house with 10 or 8 kids, so they can feel like they never get any peace——”

　　“嘘，赫敏，你的马丁尼要洒光啦。”

　　“Hush, Hermione, your Martini is going to spill. ”

　　“真不明白你为什么还能这么镇定地坐在这儿啜你的威士忌——希望你没有忘记自己是罗丝和雨果的父亲。”

　　“I don’t know why you sit so poised sipping your whiskey, as if you hadn’t forgotten you are Rose and Hugo’s father. ”

　　“同时也是你的丈夫——一个即将被生活的重担压垮，年纪轻轻就开始发福脱发的可怜男人。”

　　“and your husband——a poor man about to collapse under the weight of life, beginning to lose his hair at a young age. ”

　　“别对我嬉皮笑脸的，罗恩。那不管用。”

　　“Don’t smile at me like that, Ron. It won’t work. ”

　　“好吧，那什么管用？一个吻，还是——”

　　“Well, what works? A Kiss, or... ? ”

　　“滚开，罗恩。我不想把花了钱的马丁尼白白浪费在你的脸和衬衣上。”

　　“Fuck off, Ron. I don’t want to waste my money on Martini for your face and your shirt. ”

　　“我猜，这周轮到我洗衣服。”

　　“I guess it’s my turn to do the laundry this week. ”

　　“如果你肯屈尊抬抬头，看一眼那张该死的家务计划表的话——是的。”

　　“If you could just stoop and look up at that DAMNED hore list——Yes. ”

　　“那可就不太划算了。有什么手段可以哄得你放过我的衣服呢，亲爱的？”

　　“That’s not very good. What can I do to persuade you to leave my clothes alone, my dear? ”

　　“别用那种肉麻语气说话——我要起鸡皮疙瘩了。十年前我们结婚时你就该明白：我不是那种好糊弄的女人。”

　　“Don’t talk to me like that——I’m going to get goose bumps. You should have known when we got married ten years ago: I’m not that kind of woman. ”

　　“再明白不过了。我压根就没想瞒你——三更半夜在酒吧买醉？我不是没有脑子。如果真的想‘放松一下’，我会给自己寻个更好的去处。”

　　“I\'m pretty clear. I never meant to conceal anything from you——drinking in a bar in the middle of the night? I’m not brainless. If I really wanted to ‘relax’ , I would have found a better place for myself. ”

　　“你瞧。最近我们的婚姻出了点问题，没人可以否认这一点。我们要正视问题，罗恩。”

　　“Look. We’ve been having some problems in our marriage lately, and no one can deny that. We need to face up to our problems, Ron. ”

　　“你喝的是马丁尼，马丁尼顶多让人微醺。这就是为什么你能事不关己地坐在那儿——该死地镇定——使着你那套官场上的文雅辞令。‘正视问题’。哈！究竟是谁没有正视问题？而我喝的是威士忌，燃烧血管——足以使人发狂。你根本就不知道，我多么疯狂地——”

　　“It’s Martini you’re drinking.Martini can only make you tipsy. That’s why you’re sitting there, unengaged——with GODDAMNED equanimity——using your LITTLE FANCY WORDS. ‘Face the problem’ . HA! Who hasn’t faced up to the problem? As for me，I\'m drinking whiskey, it can burned veins——enough to drive people crazy . You have no idea that I\'m madly in——”

　　“疯狂地什么？”

　　“Madly in what？”

　　“爱着你，赫敏。”

　　“In love with you，Hermione.”

　　“……”

　　“我权当这是赞美。”

　　“I\'ll take that as a compliment. ”

　　“这里没人认识你，受人尊敬的部长助理。用不着有所顾忌。”

　　“No one here knows you, respected assistant minister. There’s no need to be afraid. ”

　　“也用不着无所顾忌。我正吃着橄榄呢*，你就不能等我吃完再——”

　　“Also，there\'s no need to be reckless.I’m eating the olive，can’t you just wait until I’m done? ”

　　“不。不行。”

　　“No.No Way.”

　　“我刚刚说了，我们之间有问题需要解决——”

　　“As I just said, we have a problem to work out——”

　　“很快就要解决了。”

　　“It’s going to be resolved soon. ”

　　“……”

　　“你这是借酒发疯。”

　　“You’re drinking yourself crazy. ”

　　“其实，清醒和不清醒又有什么区别呢。”

　　“Actually, no one can tell the difference between being awake and not being awake.”

　　“……”

　　“罗纳德！”

　　“Ronald！”

　　“罗纳德·韦斯莱！！”

　　“RONALD WEALSEY! ！”