《用******君》梦蝶千年

1、用英文调戏小颜君（1）

　　狗狗□□聊天记之：用英文调戏小颜君

　　小颜者，狗狗一好友也。貌似粉[一本正经]滴大帅哥一枚。烦请各位看官不要对号入座。在本文中，狗狗为【Hope】，小颜为【Joshua】。
　　文中[/lengh]之类的东东是什么，呵呵，□□表情也。看官只要把文章复制到□□上看就知道是什么表情了。

　　========================================================
　　【Hope】I've got the I.Q. of a rabbit!
　　【Joshua】What happened?
　　【Hope】I...I walked into a men's room this afternoon. [/lengh] I swear I didn't do it on purpose.
　　【Joshua】Oh my!
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】There's a Christmas party tonight. Are you coming or not?
　　【Hope】No. My roommates need me. As your friend, I suppose it's my duty to suggest some crucial things to take before leaving.
　　【Joshua】Thank you. What's that?
　　【Hope】Condoms.
　　【Joshua】What?! It's a Christmas party! Party! What do I need condoms for？ [/qiao]
　　【Hope】Calm down, my dear. Just in case.
　　【Joshua】[/shuai]
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】Again! Someone is lighting I-love-you candles for a girl! Such an out-of-date courtship strategy.
　　【Hope】Honey, do you have any new idea which is both romantic and up-to-date?
　　【Joshua】[/lengh]
　　【Hope】[/baiy] Though I doubt whether it's a good way to show one's love in public...so called PDA.
　　【Joshua】Huh?
　　【Hope】Public displays of affection.
　　【Joshua】Oh.
　　【Hope】But to be honest, I do feel jealous about those young lovers.
　　【Joshua】Why not be one of them?
　　【Hope】Too old to try. [/fd]
　　【Joshua】[/ch] It seems that I should never fall since I'm older than you.
　　【Hope】Right.
　　【Joshua】[/shuai]
　　I'm hurt. Hurt!
　　========================================================
　　【People】Who's Joshua?
　　【Hope】Again, I restate that there is no Joshua or XiaoYan. He's just a fictional character in my novels.
　　... ...
　　【Joshua】Am I just a "fictional character"?
　　【Hope】Or you want me to get it all out?
　　【Joshua】No.
　　【Hope】Then...yes, you are.
　　【Joshua】[/wq]
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】How do you think about Joey?
　　【Hope】Oh...A handsome man with a timid smile--his smile was as welcoming as the first star.[/se] And I was so drunk in the magic feelings while I met him first time. Oh, so charming!
　　【Joshua】I'm sure you were.
　　========================================================
　　【Hope】It's not important, honey.
　　【Joshua】Then what is important to you?
　　【Hope】Nothing.
　　【Joshua】/ch
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】You care more about the physical appearance than the inner side. Why?
　　【Hope】What do I need a "inner side" for?
　　【Joshua】I see.
　　========================================================
　　【Hope】I am your guardian angel.
　　【Joshua】Would you please be something else?
　　【Hope】[/baiy]
　　========================================================
　　【Hope】You're the most gorgeous guy in our college.
　　【Joshua】[/lengh] Thanks.
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】An earthquake hit our city!~Just now! Did you feel that?
　　【Hope】Calm down. Find a secure location to wait it out, like under a heavy table or in an interior hallway. And you should also crouch low with your hands pretecting the important parts of you body--your head, your neck, and...
　　【Joshua】Wow, you're an expert! Thank you!
　　【Hope】...and your dick.
　　【Joshua】Oh my! I...I really need to go.
　　【Hope】Okay. [/cy] Take care.
　　【Joshua】So long.
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】Who are you?
　　【Hope】I'm your father's brother's nephew's cousin's old roommate.
　　【Joshua】[/ch]
　　========================================================
　　【Hope】No matter where, no matter when, no matter who...any man has a chance.
　　【Joshua】[/jk] Is this for real?
　　【Hope】Yup.
　　【Joshua】You're really...I don't know.
　　【Hope】[/cy]
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】[/baiy] I'm not interested. Not one bit.
　　【Hope】So proud, ain't you? You may dream that the streets will be strewn with the bodies of women, shooting themselves for your sake.
　　【Joshua】Never had that kind of dream. [/ch]
　　【Hope】I strongly recommend that a movie named "Pride And Prejudice" should be seen, since you're so...Mr. Darcy.
　　【Joshua】...
　　【Hope】(Imitating Darcy's tone.) Oh she looks tolerable enough. But I'm in no humor tonight to give consequence to the middle classes at play. How arrogant and proud he was!
　　【Joshua】[/lh]
　　【Hope】But, to be honest, I do love Laurence Olivier's voice--attractive and elegant English tone.
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】You have a quick tongue.
　　【Hope】How'd you know that? Oh...You knew it from our kiss last night?
　　【Joshua】Lord bless my soul!
　　【Hope】/tx
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】How do you think about the notion of harmonious coexistence in ancient Chinese philosophies?
　　【Hope】Moderation.
　　【Joshua】That's all?
　　【Hope】That's all.
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】Nice day out today, eh?
　　【Hope】I dunno. I've been at home all day long.
　　【Joshua】...
　　========================================================
　　【Hope】It'd been seven years since I'd had those photos taken.
　　【Joshua】No wonder they were so...weird.
　　【Hope】What? [/baiy]
　　【Joshua】[/lengh]
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】When are you gonna go to bed?
　　【Hope】Before mid night.
　　【Joshua】[/ch]
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】When shall we meet?
　　【Hope】At 7 p.m. sharp.
　　【Joshua】O.K.
　　... ...
　　【Joshua】I've been waiting for over two hours. What were you doing?
　　【Hope】/lengh Sorry. I...I totally forgot our date.
　　【Joshua】/qiao And that was not even a date!
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】Where are you gonna go?
　　【Hope】Not quite sure yet.
　　========================================================
　　【Hope】I could barely stand in my stiletto heels.
　　【Joshua】You like high heel shoes?
　　【Hope】No. But I'm short.
　　【Joshua】[/fd]
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】Don't push me to use the four letter word beginning with "f".
　　【Hope】Do remember you're a lady.
　　【Joshua】Am I? How'd you know that?
　　【Hope】[/shuai]
　　========================================================
　　【Joshua】How many years have you been studying English?
　　【Hope】Let me see. 6, 7 years.
　　【Joshua】No kidding?
　　【Hope】I'm serious.
　　【Joshua】Oh. I suppose your English is much better than mine.
　　【Hope】I guess so.
　　【Joshua】[/ch]