书评 - 晋江文学城

I really like the descriptions in chapter one. The conversation between the two people is clear and understandble,no extra or missing. Also I like the idea you use meaning into names. In chapter two the main character came out as I see. I wish the description of how the characters' look will be more clear,but since she still a nine year old kid I guess that part can be skipped. The Only part I want to know is how's her past? I see the girl main character got a attitude problem. But she's still very cute in her very own way. In chapter three we can see that the girl character likes to work out. The kid big stone seems to like her, lets hope he won't get involve into her love circle. Also the end of the chapter forshadow there's trouble coming, that very well done and give the reader lots of space to imaging. Very detailed description in chapter four, and nothing more to say. In chapter five there's a new chacrater, can you describe him more so we understand him more? Very nice description at chapter six. People and place and details goes right in place. I like the little boy in chapter seven. He's like quiet type and weak. The girl is like hyper and talkive and the guy is opposite. I think they will go well together. In chapter eight I see a very good background story. I see very good detail. that very good, i hope i see that in every chapters. Very good on detailing about the scenery and the surrounding in chapter nine, as i can see the guy she met under the moon like her very much. Also big stone seems to like her a lot too. By the way you never descibe how big stone looks, really wonder how he look like. Chapter ten talk about the guy older brother, he like her if i'm right. As the way he talk i can see that he's jealous of the little brother. I can bet that the little brother likes the girl, he treat her like a gem. I wish too see more about him in the story. As what i see in the chapter eleven, the girl seems to have some feeling for big stone, but i also see that she feel warm inside because of the little brother. After i read the chapter I really got into wanting to know about the little brother's past. Is it as sad as it seem? Also you might make them look like they are older than they seem. But over all is fabulous. Very touchy in chapter twelve, happy childhood is over as i can see. Very sad story for the little girl. Hope it turn out to be good later. Gladly the older brother didnt kisses her in in chapter , or i'm gonna flip. I'm on the little brother's side and very nice with the detail and the image of the picture, good job. Very nice ending at the chapter thirteen, i can't wait till i read the whole story now. Also very nice at making this chapter a explaining chapter, but also a story. All i want to say about this chapter is fantastic. Very good ending for the first half of the story. First I thought the girl's father is the king, but than I read it I notice it isn't as easy as it seem to be. I cant wait till i read the the next half and chapter seventeen, hope it to be as awesome as the first half!作者回复：
谢谢女子给我的英文长评！！

秋水才疏学浅，只读懂大概。

回头会把翻译贴上！嘻嘻！！

作者回复：
以下是译文：

我很喜欢你在第一章中所使用的描述。两人的对话清楚又简练，恰如其分。我也喜欢你人物名称（指初晴）表达出的美好意念。

在第二章中，主角出场。我希望你可以对她的外貌有多一点比较清楚的描述，但可能由于她只是9岁孩童，我想所以这一部分可以免去吧。相对来说我更想知道的是她的上一世。　

女主的脾气稍微有点暴躁,可是这也是她特有的可爱之处。

在第三章中我们看见女主角喜欢运动，小孩大石头看起来好像喜欢她，希望他不会陷入了女主角的爱情圈子中。还有在结尾中隐示了将来有问题要发生了，这样很好因为给了读者想象的空间。

第四章有很详细的描述，个人没有什么要说的。

在第五章中有一个新角色出现（指君竹），作者你可以描述多一点关于他的事吗？这样我们才可以理解他多些。

第六章的描述十分之好，人物、地方还有其他的信息都很恰当。

我很喜欢第七章的小男孩，他是那种有点文静又带点脆弱的类型（君梅）。女孩则是十分活泼和喜欢说话，和男的正正相反。我想他们一起应该不错。

在第八章有很好的背景故事，我看到很好且详细的细节。这样很好，我希望其他的章节也可以如这章一样。

在第九章中关于场景和周围有很好又仔细的描写，我可以看出那个她在月下碰见的男子很喜欢她。还有大石头好像也是很喜欢她。顺带一提，作者你从没有描述过大石的样貌，实在很好奇他究竟是怎么样的。

第十章说的是君竹，如果我没有猜错的话，他也喜欢女主。从他的说话中，我看出了他在妒忌他的弟弟。我赌他的弟弟也是喜欢女主的，他待她如若珍宝般。我希望在故事中他可以更多的出现。就我来看，

在第十一章中，女主好像对大石头有点感觉，但同时我也看出女主对那男的弟弟有点好感。在看完整章后，我真的很想知多点关于这个弟弟的过去。是不是真的如此悲哀？在文中感觉出他们比他们的年龄来说更成熟些。但总体而言很好。

第十二章十分的感人，欢乐的童年终是完结了。小女孩的故事很悲惨，希望以后会变好吧。很高兴大哥没有吻女主，否则我要掀桌子了。因为我是站在弟弟那边的，还有文中的细节处理得很好，画面感也很强！

第十三章的结尾很好，我现在迫不及待想要把全文看完。作者很好的把这章写成解说的一章又不失去故事的色彩。这一章在我来说真的写得很好。前半部故事的结尾很好，首先我觉得女孩的父亲是帝王，但随着故事发展我又觉得不是如表面这般简单。我等不及去看第十七章和后半部了，希望之后也会如同前面一样的精彩。

首页>我的晋江> 《只做梁祝不化蝶》 第16章

首页>我的晋江> 《只做梁祝不化蝶》第16章