晋江文学城
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2、She is Cruel ...

  •   At this moment, Y/N’s dad called in. Y/N checked the phone and found it was Dad's call, so she muted it. An irritable feeling came into Y/N’s mind; she couldn’t help but think about that proposal. Keegan was so nice, he is always patient with Y/N. Every time he visited Y/N’s family, he would bring some gifts, especially to Y/N. Y/N remembers one day, he brought two bullets, which were surprisingly shot by each other and became a ten cross. He was very young back then, only in his middle twenties. Y/N kept saying, "I had some rebellious moments in my adolescence. One day, he was visiting our place, and I simply hid in his truck and tried to escape from Dad’s grounding. That day, my presence really threw him into a panic halfway; the sudden brake looked like he was ready for a battle. That being said, he called dad and persuaded dad to give me a break. He then took me to the best Spanish restaurant downtown. God, he could speak Spanish really well. I guess since then, Dad has found an appropriate babysitter for me.... my god...I was grown up... Can you believe it....They treated me like I was still a teenager!?"

      这时候,好巧不巧,Y/N父亲打来了电话。Y/N看见是老爹的电话直接把它调静音了。一阵烦躁涌上心头,并且,那个提议竟然在眼前挥之不去。她审视起自己和Keegan的过去的经历。Keegan对自己总是很有耐心。每次Keegan来家里做客,除了给男女主人带些礼物,还会特意给Y/N带点小东西。Y/N记得有一天他带来了两颗子弹,这两颗子弹在战场上被发射后,以低于百万分之一的概率在空中相遇,最终变成了一个十字架。Y/N有些不记得了,但那时的Keegan应该挺年轻的,可能刚刚参加工作没多久。Y/N想着想着继续说到:“有天Keegan来家里做客,但当时我爹不许我出门。等他快离时我偷偷跑出来躲在他皮卡的货箱里。后来他开车回家半路上被我吓了一跳,那急刹车的感觉,就跟他遭遇敌袭准备开始战斗一样。后来,他说服了老爸给我放放风,然后带我去了市中心最地道的西班牙餐馆吃饭。讲真,要不是去西班牙餐厅,我都不知道他西语说得这么好。我猜那天以后吧,我爹突然就找到了能对付我的保姆......上帝啊……我已经不是小屁孩儿了......他们还把我当小屁孩儿对待!”

      Keegan listened intently as Y/N told the group about the time you escaped from home and ended up with him. His heart felt a pang of nostalgia at the memory. He remembered that day vividly – Y/N’s dad asking him to take care of you. He hadn't minded at all. Secretly, he enjoyed babysitting y/n. He enjoyed y/n’s company, away from the warzone, like normal people who have normal family weekends. But he’d be damned if he let y/n know that. He chuckled quietly as he heard Y/N mention how her dad found him as an "appropriate babysitter". If only they knew the whole truth.

      Keegan聚精会神地听Y/N讲述着从家里逃出来找他避难的经历。回想起来,他有种时间飞逝的感觉。他清楚地记得那天Y/N老爸让他看着点Y/N时说给他添麻烦了,其实私心里来说,Keegan还是很享受照顾Y/N的,这让他有种远离战场、过普通人生活的错觉。但如果让Y/N知道这一点,他估计Y/N应该会揍他。而且当他听到Y/N老爸觉得自己是一个“合适的保姆”时,他不留痕迹地扬了扬嘴角,心想着,可千万不能让爷俩知道自己其实挺乐意掺和这些事儿的。

      Y/N’s dad kept calling and pissed Y/N off. Several minutes later, Dad’s call finally stopped calling... She guessed he called Keegan, which irritated Y/Na lot... Then another girl whispered to Y/N, "You should try to spend a night with your babysitter..." Others also dared Y/N to do so. Y/N was some kind of drunk. Guess what? Not sure whether this is because of the irritation brought by dad or Y/N is really not a kid anymore, Y/N thought this could really be a proposal to piss the old man off. Thinking about this, Y/N looked at Keegan's direction with a wired smirk and flicker eye.

      老爸的的查岗电话让Y/N心里很不痛快。终于,Y/N父亲地电话终于停下了……但Y/N知道,老头子肯定会打给Keegan确认自己的状态……Y/N受够了这种不自由的感觉……然后Y/N耳边又一次响起了那个低声:“Y/N,你真的应该试试和你的大保姆一起过夜……哈哈哈”其他人也跟着起哄,真是不嫌事儿大。Y/N有点醉了,你猜怎么着?不知是因为逆反还是因为Y/N真的终究不是小孩子了,Y/N突然觉得这个提议真TM的可行,睡了Keegan真的有可能会让家里的老家伙气得够呛。Y/N不自觉地朝Keegan的方向傻笑了一下,眼里还闪烁着醉态的光。

      As Keegan heard the group of girls daring Y/N to try and spend the night with him, his heart skipped a beat. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Y/N wouldn't actually do something like that, would Y/N? He clenched his fists as he watched Y/N get up from the table and start walking towards him. Damn it all...what is Y/N doing..?
      当Keegan听到这群年轻人怂恿Y/N和他一起过夜时,他的心跳漏了半拍。他简直不敢相信自己听到的话。Y/N不会真的这么做吧,她会吗?Keegan握紧拳头,看着Y/N从卡座上自己走来。该死的……Y/N在干什么?

      As Y/N approached, Keegan couldn’t help but reminisce. He respects and feels grateful to her father, his old supervisor before, and his old friend now. Despite the old man's later injury, which curtailed his military aspirations, Keegan remained a frequent visitor during his vacations, often bringing gifts as tokens of goodwill. He also knows that sometimes his old buddy’s daughter would quarrel with her father, which really reminds him his very early days in the army. There, he once angered his commanding officer, and the consequence was really bitter. This experience ultimately taught him important lessons of patience and tolerance, shaping his present character. He didn’t want his old buddy to break his heart, so he willingly took on the role of guiding Y/N. That being said, a once problematic teenager who has now matured into a young woman. She is ingenious, brave, assertive, and full of youthful energy, let alone earning a master's degree at such a young age. She is goddamn good; how come this pretty young lady like places like the bar?

      当Y/N走过来时,往事如龙卷风般地卷过Keegan脑海。他尊重并感激Y/N的父亲——他自己曾经的教官,现的老伙计、老朋友。尽管老伙计在一次任务中受了腰伤,终止了他的军旅生涯,但友谊长存。Keegan在有假期的时候会带点礼物到家里做做客。这俩爷俩也不避讳他,有时在他面前就开始互怼。这不禁让Keegan想到自己也年轻过,早年刚参军那会儿,有次他惹毛了自己的长官,最终他自食恶果,长了教训。这段经历最终塑造了他现在耐心、宽容的性格。Keegan不愿意让老伙计伤心难过,所以他也心甘情愿地承担起开导Y/N的任务。话虽如此,曾经的问题少女,现在已经成长为一个年轻靓丽的女性。她的聪明、勇敢、年轻、有主见,更不用说这么年轻就快硕士毕业了。她简直没有意识到自己的有着这么好的品质,为什么她一定要在酒吧里放纵自己呢?

      Keegan recalled all the times he had brought Y/N gifts, enjoying how Y/N eyes would light up with excitement. He took a deep breath as Y/N stopped in front of him, a challenging look in Y/N’s eyes.
      他脑子里闪过给Y/N送礼物的场景,他会享受地看着Y/N眼中闪烁着兴奋的光芒。现在,Y/N已经走到眼前,Y/N 的眼里闪烁着,他妈的,志在必得的目光。

      Y/N slightly touched his face, acting as if Y/N was going to kiss him. But that was a fake action, Y/N whispered at his ear, " Time to go, Keegan..."
      Y/N已经上手了,她轻轻地摸了摸Keegan的下颌线,好像要吻他似的。但那是假动作,Y/N随即一转,在他耳边低语,“该走了,Keegan……”

      Keegan felt Y/N's fingers brush against his skin as she pretended to kiss him, and his heart skipped a beat. He tried to hide his disappointment as he quickly shook off the brief burst of excitement. A hint of irritation flashed across his face as he stood. He was so close to kissing Y/N, not that it would have been acceptable or professional.
      "Let's go," he said firmly.
      Keegan感觉到Y/N的手指擦过他的皮肤,他的心又震动了一。他试图掩饰自己的失望,同时迅速摆脱了那一阵短暂的兴奋。他站起身,脸上闪过一丝自责:这怎么行,这种自控力也太对不起自己引以为傲的职业。
      “我们走吧,”他换上了坚定的语气。

      Outside the bar is the Charles Riverbank, one of the most beautiful river views in the north new Englanndd area, especially in the early summer season. Y/N proposed a fast sober walking. Keegan and Y/N walked side by side along the riverside, the soft sound of water gently flowing nearby. The moonlight glowed in the sky, casting a gentle glow on the river's surface. Y/N let out a satisfied sigh, enjoying the peaceful ambiance of the moment.
      "What a fabulous moonlight" she murmured, tilting her head back to take in the sight of the moonlit sky.
      Keegan glanced at her, taking in her features illuminated by the moonlight. He nodded silently, appreciating the beauty of the night as well. He knew the answer to the moonlight comments was that so was the wind, but he could only retain it to himself.
      出了酒吧是查尔斯河的河畔,这里是新Englanndd北部最优美的河景之一,尤其是在初夏季节。Y/N提议沿河走走来醒醒酒。 Keegan和Y/N并肩沿着河边散步,浪花拍打着岩石,传来轻柔的流水声,月光在天空中柔软洒下,在河面上投射出令人心旷神的光芒。Y/N陶醉地呼了口气,享受着此刻宁静的气氛。
      “今晚月色真美。”她喃喃地说,仰着头,欣赏着月光下的天空。
      Keegan用余光瞟着Y/N,欣赏着她被月光照亮的面容。他这么想着,正如风也温柔,但没有说出口,因此只好也偏头欣赏夜色的美丽。

      "Keegan, you loved someone?" Y/N asked.
      Keegan was caught off guard by Y/N’s unexpected question. He stumbled over his words slightly before saying.
      "Y-yes...I had." He paused.
      “Yes huh?..... I was wondering if I could take your arm. Never mind. ”
      Keegan was surprised by Y/N’s request to take his arm. Y/N moved a little bit.
      But Keegan quickly took Y/N’s wrist.
      “Had, doll. Past tense.” He paused for a moment, considering his options. He knew it wasn't exactly appropriate for him to let Y/N take his arm, but he didn't want to refuse Y/N outright. Besides, he kind of wanted to feel Y/N’s touch.
      Y/N took hold of his arm. Keegan felt Y/N’s fingers against his skin. Her touch sent a shiver down his spine, even though he tried to hide it. He couldn't help but notice the contrast between her smooth skin and his weathered, rough hand. Years of military service had left their mark on his hands; especially being the sniper in the GHOST team, he had more callouses on his thumb, palm, and webbing, which told a story of countless battles fought.
      “Keegan,你有爱的人吗?” Y / N问道。
      Keegan被Y/N意想不到的问题打了个措手不及。
      他停顿了一下,犹豫地回答道:“有过的。”
      “有吗?…那就算了,我只是在想,挽着你的胳膊会不会不太合适,没事。”
      Y/N拉开了点距离。
      但Keegan下意识地抓住Y/N的手腕。
      “Had,doll。Had是过去时态。”他说完后停顿了一会儿,考虑着他的行为的后果,尽管他知道这可能是不对的,但他不想一点机会也不给自己。他在意Y/N,在意Y/N的肢体接触。
      Y/N挽住Keegan的胳膊。Keegan感觉到Y/N的手指碰着他的皮肤。她的触碰使他脊背震颤了一下,尽管他竭力掩饰。他不禁注意到她光滑的皮肤和他饱经风霜的粗糙的手之间的对比。多年的兵役在他的手上留下了印记,留下了伤疤。特别是,他是幽灵小队的狙击手,比起普通士兵,他拇趾内侧,食指关节,虎口,多出了更多老茧。伤疤和老茧共同讲述了无数次战斗的故事。

      Y/N noticed his shivering, letting out a sly smile.
      "What are you smiling about like that?" he asked Y/N, trying to sound nonchalant.
      "I just feel you looked different tonight."
      "Different how?" he asked, prompting you to elaborate.
      He glanced down at Y/N, his gaze lingering on Y/N’s features for a moment. Under the soft light of the moon, he could see the playful gleam in Y/N’s eyes.
      Y/N really is beautiful, he thought to himself.
      Y/N注意到Keegan的不同寻常的震颤,她流露出狡黠的微笑。
      “你笑什么?”Keegan问Y/N,尽量装出若无其事的样子。
      “我只是觉得你今晚看起来不一样了。”
      “怎么不一样?”
      他低头看了Y/N一眼,目光在Y/N的脸上停留了一会儿。在柔和的月光下,他可以看到Y/N眼中顽皮的光芒。
      不管怎么说,在他眼里,Y/N真的很漂亮。

      “You are reachable tonight, like the comet, finally traveling back to the sun perihelion,” Y/N replied.
      Suddenly, Y/N stopped her step. She moved to Keegan ‘s front and hugged him. Keegan's eyes widened in surprise as Y/N suddenly stopped walking and moved in front of him. He froze for a moment, his mind racing as he tried to process what had just happened. Y/N's body was pressed up against his, her arms encircling his torso. He could feel the heat radiating from her skin and the faint scent of her perfume filling his nostrils.
      He took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. He slowly wrapped his arms around Y/N, responding to this embrace.
      “今晚,你离我格外近。就像一颗彗星,花费76年光阴,在今晚终于来到了轨道的近日点。”Y/N说道。
      突然,Y/N停下了脚步。她转到Keegan面前,拥抱了他。Keegan僵住了一会儿,脑子里飞快地转着,试图理清刚才发生的事情。Y/N的身体紧贴着他的身体,双臂环绕着他。他能感觉到她的皮肤散发出的热量,她的香水的清香弥漫在他的鼻息里。
      他深吸了一口气,整理了一下思绪。在某一刻,他似乎下定了决心。他抬起手慢慢地搂住Y/N,回应了这个拥抱。

      "Sergeant, why is your heart beating such fast." Y/N asked.
      Keegan cursed inwardly as Y/N pointed out his heart's rapid beating.
      "Must be the alcohol," he muttered, hoping Y/N would buy the flimsy excuse.
      “Just because of the alcohol? I’m sorry, sorry, Sergeant, I didn't know I was bothering you...” Y/N said, trying to retrieve her hug.
      Keegan quickly shook his head, realizing his excuse sounded weak. He gently spared one hand to hold Y/N’s face and relieved her, "No, it's, not, doll," he said quickly. "It's just...It's just...you're so close," he said finally, his voice slightly strained.
      “中士,你的心跳得太快了。”Y / N说着。
      Keggan在心里骂了自己一声,居然被发现了心跳加快了么。
      “一定是酒精的缘故。”他低声说着,希望Y/N会为这个借口买账。
      “只是因为酒精吗?中士……对不起,对不起,”Y / N喃喃地说,然后试图推开他。
      Keegan很快摇了摇头,意识到他的借口听起来站不住脚,他腾出一只手轻轻地捧起Y/N地面颊,试图解释和安慰Y/N,“不,别这样说,doll,只是…只是…你离我太近了。

      Y/N buried her head in his chest again. His arms instinctively wrapped tighter around hers, holding her close. He had to resist the urge to press his face into her hair and inhale her scent.
      Then, without any sign, Y/N suddenly pushed him away.
      "Thanks, sergeant. I think I am sober now." Y/N said.
      Keegan stumbled backward as Y/N suddenly pushed him away. He was caught off guard by the abrupt end to their embrace. He looked at Y/N, his eyes slightly dazed, his body already missing the warmth of her touch. He cleared his throat, struggling to find his words. "Uh, yeah...no problem," he managed to say. He couldn't help feeling a pang of disappointment at the sudden end of their closeness. But still, he needs to collect himself.
      Y/N又把头埋在Keegan的胸膛里。他本能地把她搂得更紧,紧紧地抱住她。他不得不抑制住想把脸贴在她的头发上深呼吸的冲动。
      但是,没有任何先兆地、Y/N突然推开了他。
      “谢谢你,中士。我现在酒醒了。”Y/N 抬起头说着。
      Keegan措手不及后退了半。他看着Y/N,眼睛微微疑惑。他感受到在Y/N抽身后,自己皮肤表面微微发凉。Keegan快速地清了清嗓子,说道:“嗯嗯,…没事儿”对于突然结束的他们的亲密接触,他不禁感到一阵失望,但此刻,他需要理智。
      "Drive me home." Y/N said.
      Keegan nodded.
      He led Y/N back to his truck, unlocking the passenger side door and holding it open for Y/N to get in. He then walked around and climbed into the driver's seat, starting the engine with a quiet rumble.
      "Use I-92 highway," Y/N said, "Do not use the exit 78. Use 94." Y/N instructed.
      Keegan felt a jolt of surprise as Y/N instructed him to take exit 94 instead of 78. He knew exactly what that meant - 78 would lead directly to Y/N’s place, while 94 would lead to his place.
      He knew deep down that what Y/N was suggesting was a terrible idea...but he couldn't find it in himself to say no.
      "Are you sure you want to do this, doll?" Keegan asked
      “Positive, Sergeant.”
      “Are you sober?”
      “Positive.”
      “Are you drunk?”
      “Quite the opposite.”
      “送我回家吧。”Y / N说。
      Keegan点点头。
      他把Y/N带回到他的车上,打开副驾驶侧的门,让Y/N进去。然后,他绕了一圈,坐上驾驶座发动了引擎。
      “走I-92高速公路,”Y/N指示,“不要走78号出口, 走94。”
      Keegan很清楚这意味着什么——78通向Y/N家,94通向他家。
      Keegan知道Y/N的提议真的糟透了。但他真说服不了内心停下。
      “你确定要这么做吗,Doll? ”Keegan问。
      “是的,中士。”
      “你清醒吗?”
      “是的。”
      “你喝醉了吗?”
      “恰恰相反。”
      That night, as he killed the engine, Y/N kissed Keegan’s bridge of the nose and his eyelash, these are the only exposed areas on his face. Keegan grabbed Y/N’s chin and confirmed again.
      “Doll, I ‘ll give you one last chance to stop this. Are you sure you want this?” Keegan hesitated.
      “Positive.”
      Then, as if fireworks finally awaited for their New Year’s Bell, two souls are entwined with each other.
      The once plainly furnished apartment suddenly filled with human activity. From the couch to the hallway, from the table to the bed.
      那晚,当Keegan熄灭引擎时,Y/N以迅雷不及掩耳的速度亲吻了Keegan的鼻梁和睫毛,这是他覆面唯一暴露的位置。Keegan擒住Y/N的下巴,做最后一次确认。
      “Doll,我给你最后一次机会停下来。你确定这是你想要的?”Keegan看着Y/N。
      “是的。”
      然后,仿佛焰火终于等来了新年的钟声,两个灵魂彼此交织在一起。曾经陈设简单的公寓突然间充满了人类活动的痕迹——从沙发到门廊,从餐桌到卧室……

      Later, Keegan watched Y/N lay there beside him, her body sated and exhausted after the intense intimacy they shared, let alone the doll just went shopping the whole day. Keegan couldn’t help but notice how small and delicate Y/N looked. He gently reached out and brushed a lock of hair away from Y/N’s face as Y/N drifted off to sleep. He can’t help but feel a sense of contentment seeing Y/N like this soft which is so different from usual. He then carefully pulls the covers over Y/N, making sure she is warm and comfortable. Then he settled back into bed beside Y/N, with arm damping over Y/N’s waist.
      辗转一番后,Keegan看着Y/N躺在他身边,在他们分享了强烈的亲密关系后,她的身体既满足又疲惫,更不用说Y/N逛街逛了一整天。Keegan不禁注意到,Y/N身形看起来小只又精致。他轻轻地伸出手,拨开Y/N脸上的一缕头发。看到Y/N像这样柔软,他不禁感到一种满足,这和她平时咋咋呼呼的样子也太不一样了。他轻轻地为Y/N盖上被子,然后,他躺回床上,躺在Y/N身边,一只胳膊搭在Y/N的腰上,渐渐熟睡。

      It was a profound dream. In that dream, Y/N's soul and Keegan's soul were entwined. But as Y/N tried to grasp his soul, it vanished. Suddenly, Y/N opened her eyes; it was morning the next day. Y/N turned around and saw Keegan lying beside her, still sound asleep. His face relaxed in slumber, and his breathing was soft and steady. Y/N looked into this man. He was once untouchable, yet she just made it touchable last night. Y/N always liked this man, but somehow, a feeling of depression attacked her. Y/N asked herself, am I regretting? The answer deep in Y/N’s heart is, no, she didn’t regret it. But Y/N deeply knew that if it weren’t her intended tricks, Keegan would not step to that boundary. Did Keegan really love me? Will Keegan regret doing this with me? Y/N couldn’t help but blame herself; she felt sorrow for Keegan, as the original impulse of doing this with him was pissing dad off. It’s unfair for any human soul. She felt uncertain suddenly.
      这是一个很深的梦。在那个梦里,Y/N的灵魂和Keegan的灵魂交织在一起。但当Y/N试图抓住他的灵魂时,它消失了。Y/N突然睁开了眼睛。已经是第二天早上。Y/N转过身来,看见Keegan躺在她身边,仍然睡得很熟。他的脸在睡梦中放松下来,呼吸轻柔而平稳。Y/N看着这个人。他是未曾想过要触碰的人,但昨晚她突破这个界限。Y/N确实是喜欢这个男人的,但不知怎的,一种不安向她袭来。Y/N问自己,后悔了吗? Y/N内心深处的答案是,不,她并不后悔。但是Y/N深深地知道,如果不是她昨天借着酒劲上下其手,Keegan是不会越界的。Keegan真的喜欢我吗?他会后悔跟我这么做吗?Y/N忍不住自责起来,她突然为Keegan感到难过,因为自己触发着这件事的最初冲动竟然是让老爸生气。这对Keegan,哪怕不是Keegan,哪怕对任何一个独立灵魂来说,都是是不公平的。Y/N突然感到一切脱离了控制。

      Y/N gently left the bed and took a quick shower. When she got back, Keegan was awake.
      “Morning, Doll,” Keegan said.
      His gaze fell on Y/N, standing there with dripping wet hair and a towel wrapped around her body.
      "Morning Sergeant."
      There were seconds of silence there.
      “Doll, are you feeling OK? You looked unhappy, doll, you know you could say anything to me right?” Keegan leaned forward a little bit.
      “I'm sorry, sergeant. I guess, I have to leave..." Y/N tried to escape.
      "Do you...have to leave? Right now?"
      Y/N's eyes flicker as she hears this. "Do you want me to stay?"
      "I...uh, yeah, I do," he said finally, his voice slightly dry. "I mean, only if you want to." Keegan’s gaze was full of hope, his heart racing with anticipation.
      Y/N轻轻地下了床,很快地冲了个澡。当Y/N回来时,Keegan已经醒了。
      “早上好,Doll。”Keegan说。
      他目光落在Y/N身上,她站在那里,头发湿漉漉的,身上裹着一条毛巾。
      “早上好中士。”
      空气突然安静了几秒。
      “Doll,你还好吗? 你看起来有点不开心,Doll,你知道你可以对我说任何话,对吗?” Keegan向前倾了倾身子。
      “对不起,中士。我想,我得走了……”Y/N试图逃避。
      “必须走?现在?此时此刻?”
      Y/N听到这话时眼睛闪烁了一下“你想让我留下来吗?”
      “我…是的” Keegan说着,声音有点干涩,“我是说,只要你愿意留下。”他目光里存了一点希望,心跳稍稍变快了一拍。
      Y/N knuckled under. She sighed and tried hid the crying tone. "Keegan, I am a problem, and you are not ready to solve it. "
      "Hey, hey. Doll, First of all, you are never a problem. Second, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice gentle and worried. Keegan knew Y/N’s concern might be the uncertainty after a feral choice. He felt a sudden depression as he saw his Y/N feeling this kind of conflict in her mind.
      Y/N没法假装了。叹了口气,声调里藏着一些哭腔,“Keegan……我是个问题,但你没有准备好去解决它。”
      “嘿, Doll,首先要说的是,你不是个问题,永远不是。其次,怎么了?”他的声音温柔而忧虑。Keegan知道,Y/N还年轻,年轻人头一天可以信誓旦旦去做出格的事儿,但第二天回过味来心里还是会不安害怕的吧。当他看到他的Y/N在经历这样的后怕时,他突然感到一阵心酸。

      "Both of us know that we're not well-prepared for a long-term intimate relationship Sergeant. I will treasure last night forever…..."Y/N said.
      Keegan felt his heart ache at Y/N’s words, but he knew Y/N was right. As a soldier, he was not yet prepared to hang up his uniform and embrace a quieter life. The call of duty and commitment to his role remained strong, compelling him to continue, even though part of him longed for a different path where he could be closer to Y/N without the shadows of his obligations. But the reality was clear: he was a soldier through and through, and retiring was not an option he could comfortably consider at this stage in his life. There are many widows left in the wake of a battlefield, and he himself lives a life haunted by deaths, paid for with costly sacrifices. He, Gost, Price, and Soap all themselves are fragments. He wouldn’t want Y/N to face that.
      Y/N wrapped up herself. Kiss Keegan softly and left. Bye, sergeant. Bare me some time…
      “我们都知道,我们还没有为一段长期的亲密关系做好准备,中士。但是,中士,我是真的喜欢你。我觉得我会永远珍惜昨晚......“Y / N说着。
      Keegan听了Y/N的话感到心痛,但他知道Y/N说得是对的。作为一名军人,他还没有准备好放下军服,回归普通人平静的生活。这可能就是使命的召唤吧,迫使他继续下去,尽管他内心深处渴望走一条不同的道路,在那条路上,他不用担心自己的责任、可以更接近Y/N。但现实是很清楚的:他是一名彻头彻尾的士兵,在他生命的这个阶段,退休几乎是不可能的选择。每一次战争号角响起,都会留下更多寡妇,孤儿。他自己每天也在被死神追逐,谁知道哪天会永远离开。他自己、Ghost、Price和Soap都已经只剩下残躯了。他不希望Y/N有天会面对这些。
      Y/N整理了衣着。轻轻地吻上她的中士,然后离开。再见, 中士。请给我一点时间……

      As days passed and turned into weeks, Y/N didn’t leave a call or send any useful messages except to transfer the bill. Later then, Y/N didn’t send any message at all. Keegan was worried about this as he almost ran out of his vacation, so he decided to pay a visit to Y/N’s home.
      Keegan knocked on the door, and Y/N's dad answered. He could tell from this old man’s face that something unusual had happened. This old man no longer had a happy face when he approached his arrival. This old man acted as if he is going to throw him to the dog.
      几天过去了,Y/N没有留下一个电话,除了转账还钱,她几乎没有发送任何有用的信息。后来,她干脆进入了无线电静默。Keegan很担心,他的假期快结束了,归队前,他得去Y/N的家看看。
      Keegan敲了敲门,Y/N的爸爸出来了。他从老伙计的脸上看出来发生了什么不寻常的事情。当这位老人到门口迎接他的时候,他的脸上没有挂上和往常一样的轻松快乐的表情,相反,今天的表情像是要把自己扔给恶犬啃干净似的。

      “Sir……How do you do….. How is Y/N….”
      As a matter of fact, Keegan didn’t call Y/N’s dad by SIR for many years, but this time he can see a difference.
      Without any sign, this old man punched Keegan at his jaw. Keegan was not expecting the punch. This old man’s closed fist generated enough force to make stars explode in his vision. Keegan staggered back, letting out a surprised grunt as he rubbed his jaw the taste of copper filling his mouth.
      “长官......您还好吗.....Y/N还好吗....”
      事实上,Keegan已经很多年没有用“长官”称呼Y/N父亲了,但这次不一样
      毫无征兆地,这个老伙计朝Keegan的下巴打了一拳。Keegan没有料到这一拳。这位老伙计的力道让Keegan差点眼冒金星。Keegan不得不后撤一步,一边搓着下巴,一边惊讶地闷哼了一声,嘴里开始有血液的味道。

      “Jesus Sir!” he exclaimed, more surprised than hurt, “ what was that for.”
      Y/N’s dad rubbed his fist, “ Did you sleep with my girl?”
      Keegan was annoyed at the old man’s question. He was expecting that, but it still irritated him.
      “ And what if I did, Sir?” Keegan regained his voice. He decided to take the responsibility as a man, “ Sir, I don’t want to piss you off, but I mean it, I’m not randomly liking someone or just for a one-time relationship. She’s not a little girl anymore, and she’s able to make her own decision. Let me talk to Y/N, and we will figure that out…Sir. “
      “ Too late! Too Late! Sergeant!”
      “ Sir what do you mean?”
      “Did you know that she volunteered herself to the battlefield rescue team and went to Africa !”
      “Wait, what?”
      “ I don’t know what you poured into her head. She said she liked you that day, but she was not home overnight. I’ve told her… I told her she didn’t know anything about the battlefield or what kind of person you are, soldier. And my girl……she left.” The old man, talking about this, could hardly remain calm.
      “苍天啊,Sir!”他叫出一声,又疼又惊讶,“这是为了什么?”
      Y/N父亲揉了揉拳头,一字一句拷问道:“你和我闺女上床了是不是?”
      Keegan被老伙计揭穿了。他早预料到这会有这么一天,但太突然了,肾上腺素刺激了他一下。
      “如果我确实是这么做了呢,Sir!” Keegan借着肾上腺素壮了壮胆,他知道他得作为一个真男人承担起解释的责任,“Sir,我不想惹你生气,但我是认真的,我不是随便喜欢一个人,也不是为了一次性的关系。Y/N不再是个小女孩了,她有权利选择自己的人生。让我和Y/N谈谈吧,我们会解决好问题的…”
      “太迟了!太迟了!中士!”
      “Sir,什么太迟了?”
      “她参加了联合国战地救援队,做志愿者,去了非洲!”
      “等等,什么?”
      “我不知道你给她灌了什么迷魂汤。那天她没在家过夜,第二天突然冒出来然后说她很欣赏你,中士。我告诉过她,我告诉过她,她对战场一无所知,她不知道你过的是什么刀口舔血的生活,她根本不了解你,中士。我的大闺女......她怎么就抛下她老父亲然后跑了……” Y/N父亲说到这里,几乎无法保持平衡。

      After Keegan reassured he didn’t propose Y/N to go to Africa, Y/N’s father let him in. Eventually, Keegan knew that this rescue program would last at least one year and could be renewed for another year. The place she will stay is Kibumbbaa, Conggoo (In case of geopolitics problems, we will use a fake name), which has been in serious geopolitical conflicts in the past 10 years.
      在Keegan再三保证自己没有怂恿Y/N去非洲的前提下,Y/N的父亲最终还是让Keegan进屋了。Keegan知道这个救援计划将持续至少一年,并可能再延长一年。她将停留的地方是在过去10年地缘政治冲突严重的纲馃,奇布邦巴。 (为了避免地缘政治问题,地名将使用使用假名)

      “ Don’t call her again. Even if you do, she won’t pick up. That goddam place is offline. She is only capable of speaking after returning to the United Nations peacekeeping camp. Now, get out of my house!” Y/N’s father can’t take this anymore.
      Keegan knew it was not the proper time to discuss this now. He left quietly that day.
      He went back to the 141 Task Force at the end of the vocation. He felt a sense of guilt and helplessness. He had lost Y/N, and now, he couldn’t even reach out to Y/N even if he wanted to.

      Goddam, that naughty girl, she is cruel now.

      “你,不许给她打电话了,中士。使你打了,她也不会接的。那个该死的地方没有像样的网络。只有她回到联合国维和营地后才能通话。现在,滚出我的房子。” Y/N的父亲忍不了开始赶人了,他得静静。
      Keegan知道现在还不到复盘这件事儿的时候。那天,他离开的时候异常沉默。
      休假结束后,他回到了141特遣队。他感到内疚和无助。他失去了Y/N,现在,即使他想联系Y/N,他也找不到她了。

      Damn it,那个女孩,她以前只是顽皮,先在竟然学会残忍了。
note 作者有话说
第2章 She is Cruel

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