《【HP/FB 双语】GGAD通信集——三十五只猫头鹰》玖泩

33、第三十二只猫头鹰

　　January of 1996, perhaps—

　　1996年1月吧，大概——

　　Albus—

　　阿不思——

　　Fifty years. I have been here fifty shit-scraping years. And in all that time, you—you of all people—never sent me sweets. Just the smell of them made me shake with joy. It was the most glorious thing I've tasted in my life.

　　五十年了。我已经被困在这地方过了五十年狗屎不如的日子。在这期间，你——你们所有人，都从未给我寄过甜食。光是闻到这味道都让我高兴地发抖。这简直是我这辈子尝到过的最美味的东西了。

　　Fifty years. My body is a skeleton pecked with sores, I can barely remember how I could have been beautiful once. I'm the only inmate alive. The guards have left. An ancient house elf shoves the food between the bars. Even the charms on my watch are fading. The hands waver, the calendar's nearly dead. I think an owl takes three days or so to get from Hogwarts to here? More, perhaps, these days? Is the world expanding beneath me? Is that why I've become so distant? So it must be sometimes in January, the sun's in about the right place.

　　整整五十年过去，我成了一具浑身疮痍的骷髅，我几乎记不得年少时我也曾那般英俊过。如今我是唯一还活着的犯人了，守卫们都已经离开，只剩下一个上了年纪的家养小精灵每天在栏杆里撇一份食物给我。甚至我那块手表上的魔法也正在慢慢失效。它的指针发颤，日期也不怎么准确了。我想一只猫头鹰从霍格沃茨飞到这至少需要三天？或许，现在要更久了？世界是在我脚下延伸了吗？所以我才会变得离你这么远？根据太阳的位置判断，现在一定是在一月的某一天。

　　But I am nothing to you anymore but an ear. Writing ancient lovers tearful letters in your Christmas sherry again, Albus? Back & forth we go, back & forth. Your hand hasn't even changed. I'm running out of parchment. Most of my correspondents are dead. I've read every book in this room a dozen times. I suppose Fawkes is still there? Everything as it always was?

　　可我除了能做为一名听众以外，于你而言什么都不是。又是喝着圣诞雪莉酒，一边给你的老情人写着泪湿的信，是这样吗，阿不思？我们之间，就这样兜兜转转，彷彷徨徨。你的字迹从未变过。我已经用完了我所有的羊皮纸。大部分和我通信的人都故去了，这间房子里的每一本书都被我读了不下数十遍。我想福克斯还仍旧在那吧？一切也都是老样子？

　　I don't bother to sleep anymore. If I read Gertrude in delirium, she almost makes sense. Words of one, two syllables. Listen to me.

　　我已经不再失眠了。当我神志不清地读着格特鲁德的书时，她还勉强算是可以理解。虽然能读懂的也就是只有一两个音节的单词。你听我说。

　　Poor Albus. I'm barely even angry with you anymore. Scheisse, I almost feel sorry for you. You never had children, did you? Never married, never settled down? You'll just die and take It and the Potter boy with you, leaving nothing but pretty bird song & a bag of candy.

　　我可怜的阿不思。我几乎没法再冲你发火了。他妈的，我现在简直要为了你难过了。你没有孩子，是吗？也没有结婚，甚至没有成过家？你只会握着它，和那个名叫波特的男孩一同死去，除了一曲凤鸣和一包糖果之外，你什么都不会剩下。

　　But this means you have something in common with me. You and I—we fall in love with people better than us, and we do it badly. I let you win that duel because I thought you would save me, you betraying bastard, and you left me to rot instead. You don't care about anyone but the boy anymore, I know. But you will not break me. You will not break me.

　　但这也意味着我们有共同之处。你和我——我们都爱上了比自己更好的人，却又都把它搞砸了。我让你赢下那场决斗，是因为我觉得你会是我的救赎，可你这个混账背叛了我，把我丢在这里慢慢腐烂。你在乎那个男孩胜过一切，我知道的。但你无法摧毁我，你也不会。

　　We're getting too old. We belong a century ago by the millstream, Albus, not rotting away in our towers caught on the horns of the world. We belong at the beginning, where our brilliance is not weighted by responsibility, our beauty not marred by age. Before the consequences start breaking us.

　　你与我都芳华已逝。我们属于一个世纪前风车下的溪流，阿不思，而不该在世界边缘的高塔上慢慢腐烂。我们属于最初的，那些才华不被责任枷锁所囚困的日子，容颜还未被岁月磨灭的时代。在我们还未被这结局摧垮之前。

　　I've stopped thinking of you, those times in the past. I've tried to stop thinking of anything, really. Just back & forth across my cell. Words over the door. Triangles and circles and lines.

　　我已经不再去想你了，不再想起过去的那段时光。我试图不去考虑任何事，真的。只是在我的囚房里踱步，兜兜转转。门上刻着的那些字。三角，圆，直线。

　　You're right. One boy, at least, should walk away with a good life. Ours are long, long destroyed.

　　你是对的。那个男孩，至少应该远离这一切，去拥有一个美好的人生。而我们的，早已在很久、很久之前就被毁去了。

　　注：
　　1.GG表上的魔法看来已经失效了。

　　2.“ Is the world expanding beneath me? Is that why I've become so distant?”（世界是在我脚下延伸了吗？所以我才会变得离你这么远？）这里大概是因为邓教忙不能及时回信，或者说黑魔王当世，战火纷飞书信不便？突然联想到了那句“烽火连三月，家书抵万金”。

　　3.“Most of my correspondents are dead”（大部分和我通信的人都故去了）——这什么一语成戳。

　　4.“You'll just die and take It and the Potter boy with you, leaving nothing but pretty bird song & a bag of candy.
　　”（你只会握着它，和那个名叫波特的男孩一同死去，除了一曲凤鸣和一包糖果之外，什么都不会剩下)这里说的福克斯和柠檬雪宝，怎么像是在说多多的遗产一样（哭），我感觉格皇的潜台词就是在说他会继承邓教的遗物。呜呜呜这两个死鸭子，邓教为啥不结婚啊我问你你自己心里没点数吗。（另提一嘴，邓教的遗物按道理也是不福继承来着，突然想起那个不福和纽特的大横幅——“我雷GGAD”）

　　5.GG：我也雷哈利波特。（你在乎那个男孩胜过一切）