《渴望》任有漪

4、一场偶遇

　　第四章
　　无聊的日子何时才能到头，一语不知道，因为他每一天都是无聊的过着。她很痛苦，因为她不能读书，每一天如果不读书他就会减少思考的时间，这就意味着，她的思考方式与田里劳作的所谓父母同化了。她不能这样，因为她不是这个世界的人。终有一天她会回到原来的世界，届时如果她满嘴的乡里话，她该如何自处。这次与男孩的相遇给一语莫大的警示，原来她已经这么的习惯乡里生活，即使嘴上说着要离开，心里已经认同了他们。对于男孩，她会感到自卑，因为男孩的穿着打扮都像是富家子弟，而自己却是破破烂烂的乞儿模样。她在男孩面前竟然感觉到自卑。她觉得不可思议，因为对于生活在9102年的她来说，这一切都是这么的落后，包括这位富家子。男孩的生活条件绝对不比她原来的生活条件好，但是她在男孩面前感到自卑，她觉得自己不配跟这位男孩说活。男孩在她眼里是那么的神圣高洁。当一语意识到自己产生这个想法的时候，她感到非常害怕。她像是疯了一眼在男孩异样的注视下，捂着耳朵跑开了。上一秒男孩还带着宠溺的微笑对一语说着话，而下一秒一语却跑开了。男孩觉得奇怪，却又不知所措。
　　一语不断的奔跑着，他不知道自己要去哪里，她只是感觉到这里让她害怕，这里的一切她不应该感觉到熟悉，但却这么的真实。一语想起了卡夫卡的小说，那个异化的人。那个变成甲虫的人，一语在想，她是否变成了一只甲虫，在这个陌生却又熟悉的世界里，恐惧的死去。她原来连人都不是！
　　一语奔跑着，她穿过小河，越过篱笆，她跑到了静谧的竹林里。一语跑累了，她喘着气，惊恐地看向四周。这个陌生的地方，到底隐藏了怎样的秘密，到底是谁掌控了她的命运。为什么这样的不幸要降临到她的身上。一股热流从眼眶冲出，一语忍受不住，痛苦了起来。这片竹林也似乎感受到一语的悲伤，也纷纷叫嚣起来，斑驳的泪痕也印在竹叶上。此时，突然走来一位老叟，他寻着哭声而来，看到一语。他慢慢的走到一语身边，说道：“小姑娘，发生什么事情让你如此伤心，不如跟老人我说说，替你开导开导。”一语听到声音抬起头，看见头发花白，面目慈祥一身破衣裳像洪七公一样的人物。一语并没有放下自己的警惕，她瞪着老叟却沉默不语。老叟也不气馁，接着说：“莫不是失恋了吧。那老人家我真的就没办法了。”
　　一语被老叟的话噎着，怒吼道：“你才失恋了，老娘我还没谈过恋爱。”老叟鄙夷的笑到：“那更惨，难怪你要哭。”一语一时失言，不知道如何回答，只好闷声不响。不知道这位老叟会带给一语的人生怎样的转折，至少一语已经忘记自己被异化的事情了。

　　Chapter Four
　　When the boring days will come to an end, I do not know the word, because he lives boring every day. She was in pain because she couldn't read, and every day if she didn't read, he would reduce the time of thinking, which means that her way of thinking was assimilated with the so-called parents working in the field. She can't do this because she is not a person in this world. Someday she will return to the original world, and then if she is full of words in the village, how should she be with herself. This encounter with the boy gave a great warning. It turned out that she was so accustomed to living in the country, even though she was talking about leaving, she had identified them with her heart. She feels inferior to the boy, because the boy is dressed like a rich child, but he is a shabby beggar. She felt inferior in front of the boy. She felt incredible, because for her living in 9102, all this was so backward, including the rich man. The living conditions of the boy are definitely not better than her original living conditions, but she feels inferior in front of the boy and she feels unworthy to talk to the boy. The boy was so holy and pure in her eyes. When the phrase realized that she had the idea, she felt very scared. She seemed to have gone mad with the boy's strange gaze and ran away, covering her ears. The boy spoke to a word with a pampered smile the last second, but the next second ran away. The boy felt strange, but was at a loss.
　　The word kept running, he didn't know where he was going, she just felt that she was scared here, everything she should not feel familiar with, but so real. The phrase reminded Kafka's novel, the alienated man. The person who turned into a beetle was wondering if she had become a beetle, and died in fear in this strange but familiar world. She turned out to be no one!
　　Running in a word, she crossed the stream, over the fence, and she ran into the quiet bamboo forest. Tired of running, she panted and looked around in horror. What kind of secret is hidden in this strange place, who controls her destiny. Why did such misfortune come to her. A stream of heat rushed out of his eyes, and he couldn't bear the words and was in pain. This bamboo forest also seemed to feel the sorrow of the word, and also clamored, and the mottled tears were also printed on the bamboo leaves. At this moment, an old woman came suddenly, he cried, and saw a word. He slowly walked to the side and said, "Little girl, what happened made you so sad, it's better to talk to the old man and enlighten you." He heard his voice, looked up, and saw his hair gray and pale. Ci Xiang is a figure like Hong Qigong in his torn clothes. The word did not let go of her vigilance, she stared at the old woman but remained silent. The old man was not discouraged, and then said, "Is it because of love. I really can't do anything about the old man."
　　He was stunned by Lao's words, and yelled, "You're only in love, I haven't fallen in love with my mother." Lao's smile was sneer: "That's worse, no wonder you want to cry." I didn't know how to answer but had to mute. I don't know what the life of this old lady will bring to the phrase, at least the phrase has forgotten that she was alienated.